Together we can overcome anything...

It was just another regular day. Not a dreary cloud in sky. Cheery, nice day. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. I went to class. I was in High School. I entered the class and immediately found Goku (my best friend) in his favourite place, immersed in a book like always. We had a little ritual amidst us. He always reached class first and no matter how much I tried, I could never wake up as early as him and catch the same bus as him, as a result always reaching just a few minutes before the class bell rang. And every single day he would have some smart comment waiting for me as I would enter my class and I would throw my heavy bag at him. Regular friends we were you see.

But not that day. I entered, walked the whole 10 steps to my seat, put my bag down and waited for the smart – mouth to put forth a mildly insulting comment related to my inability to wake up early. I waited a whole 30 seconds. Nothing! This was a first in the history of humanity Ladies & Gentlemen! We had been studying (and fighting) together for almost 2 years now, how could he just deviate from our well established routine like this?

‘Earth calling Goku’ (His real name is Gokul, in case anybody is wondering).

‘Oh, hi’ (back to his book)

‘All right there? Got a Prozac overdose?’

‘No. Just my father died’.

Now how do you respond to something like that. Not that I had never witnessed or heard about death before. But this was too much. One would expect the news of death of someone’s grandparents. But father is too much for anybody to bear. Too much, too soon. This was not right.

‘Sorry’

‘Don’t worry; he was never much of a father’

Okay, so we were best friends. We did not grill each other’s personal history like they do in those cop shows. Nearly 2 years of friendship and not once did I talk to him about his mom or dad. We even had a few birthday parties at his home, all conveniently on days when his parents were out of town and so again, there was no need for a cop level grilling.

Anyway, trying my best to not burst into flames with shame and guilt, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. Turned out, he did. We bunked all our lectures for the day and went to the nearest shopping mall we had to find the quietest corner in the food court in which to talk about our life journey so far. Turns out, his dad had turned alcoholic soon after he was born and his mother died of child-birth complications. So he was being brought up by his father’s elder brother (who had officially adopted him later on too) and so all the dealings he had ever had with his father were a customary ‘namaste’ or two in various family functions. That is it. A whole lifetime of burden, feelings, sadness, inexplicable tragedy and tears came out pouring in that afternoon.

What most affected me in the whole episode was I looked at him and our friendship in a whole new light. His experience did not merely move me, it transformed me. Strange how I could find optimism and strength in a tragic episode like this, but I did –optimism that this friendship is truly the rock of my life, something that I never take for granted, and that truest friends make you feel like anything is possible, they are the true angels giving wing to your dreams. Suddenly no problem seemed unsolvable, nothing seemed improbable. It is not something I can explain in mere words but surely, anybody with even a modicum of feeling can understand this. I am sure many such experiences are waiting out there ready to be unleashed in an avalanche of memories. Try checking Housing.com if you need motivation to remember them!

That First Step I Took!

Our world is a strange one. Especially when looked at it from the point of view of a family. We love each other, we have each other’s backs, we want the best for each other-and then sometimes, in this very rush to want ‘the best’ for loved ones, we end up killing their dreams mostly in the name of ‘log kya kahenge’ or ‘society kya sochegi’. Thankfully I have got the most amazing parents in the world who have proved time and again how they really love and support me unconditionally, no matter what I choose to do with my freedom and independence.

After completing my graduation, I had several options in front of me. I could go ahead and do an MBA for which I even got a scholarship and it would be the easiest way to earn millions within a short span of time, an option that most of my classmates chose to indulge in. I could also start a job with one of the financial consultancy firms that had come to our campus for placements and get a job experience for 2 – 3 years before getting my MBA degree which would increase my earning potential tremendously. I could also join my uncle’s travel agency and make an easy life, later on doing MBA in a niche subject like –international tourism and go on to establish my own business later in life. But I was not happy with any one of these options. Because I had always dreamt of doing something in the field of charity and volunteer work. I had been associated with quite a few NGOs all during my college time and wanted to make a career in this very field. I was also interested in marketing so I thought, why not take up a regular marketing job which would also give me ample time to devote to causes of my choice and slowly, I could probably make the transition to NGO sector permanently.

Of Course, this dream of mine came under severe criticism from almost all my friends and some acquaintances. Come on, I was a full scholarship student, I won Gold Medal at University in my chosen subjects, I was valedictorian in high school as well as college. One does not simply throw all this away to do some ‘charity work’, they said! NGOs don’t offer any money, any security for future. There is no place for a brilliant person there. Better to work in a high paying job and give some money to charity every year.

However, as I said, my parents have been there to unconditionally support me. They did not ask me to choose a career based on ‘security’ or the millions that I could mint there. Rather they asked me to listen to my conscience and choose whatever makes me happy and feel fulfilled. I zeroed down on an Online SEO Marketing job-since I have always been interested in internet, computer, online search marketing and such topics. This job may not earn me as much as most of my classmates from college, but it gives me satisfaction and also sufficient time to work with some international NGOs who work for causes close to my heart, such as-environment, children’s education, orphans’ adoption and so on. I still remember the day I made this decision and took the first step to really living my life the way I want to :) That is a feeling I hope everyone gets to feel in this lifetime as a human on this planet.

I have not yet completely achieved my dream,but I am on my way. I am learning the ropes, and I am also earning money because I understand the reality of having a good economic foundation before diving deep into any kind of dream world. I am working with NGOs and causes of my choice and consolidating my likes and dislikes and am already building on my ideas of starting my own network of philanthropic activities to aid humanity at large. I have moved to a new city, learnt to live independently and become more street smart than I could have ever thought possible. All this has been possible because I took that very first step :)

I love this video from Housing.com that celebrates this very same spirit of starting a new life :)

 

My Friend Gives Me Hope

Getting some free time in office is usually spent in browsing the net and finding out something new to appreciate. Today I stumbled upon something full of hope and optimism in the form of this-> Housing.com . It also made me think of all that I see and hear every day, so many stories of sadness and disappointments and how few stories of hope and upliftment! That is why I always cherish happy news more than sad news. I also cherish meeting happy people or people whose stories fill me with a kind of renewed vigour to live life. 

One such friend of mine on twitter is @sosweet196. She comes from a family which wanted a son and instructed her mother to ditch her in a garbage bag when she was born! Yes, she is from such a family! These are the kind of stories we read about in newspapers. People who even worship Goddesses but when it comes to having daughters in the family, somehow they feel ashamed or God knows what happens to them, they will not even hesitate to kill a new born baby! Thankfully, my friend’s mother is made of steely nerves and she refused to throw her daughter in the garbage. She was thus thrown out of the house and disowned by the whole village. This happened about 2 decades ago in a small village near Delhi. Her mother then plucked up her courage and went to Delhi and there, in a hut by the side of the road, she started bringing up her daughter with utmost resilience. Educating her, teaching her about right and wrong, working through 3 jobs just to keep the home going, sleeping 3 hours a day, washing utensils as housemaid, stitching clothes at night and what not! But all through this, she never taught my friend to hate anyone or take revenge from anyone. My dear friend Asha went on to become a full scholarship student in school and college and is today a smart, sensitive, intelligent, empathic, compassionate, kind, independent woman –happily married to the love of her life. More importantly, a few years ago, her mother too found happiness again when she married a kind, compassionate man who loved her and her daughter for who they are. Today, they are all together running an NGO for homeless people, victims of domestic violence and helping everyone in need in their neighbourhood. 

This is the kind of story that makes me believe in humanity. I have met this incredible family and I have seen their unconditional love for humanity, their compassion for everyone’s suffering and their relentless work for those in need. Seeing them smile and bringing smiles on countless other lips is a joy that makes me feel really fortunate to having gained such a friend. I hope this story also brings joy and optimism to countless others.